Let’s face it.  I was in a rut.

Every year – usually around these dark days of winter and around the ides of March I find myself in a rut of sorts.  It’s always dark and gloomy outside, the weather is cold, and before I know it, I’ve somehow managed to gain eight pounds since Christmas…which by the way, upon further inspection and reflection, the added weight can be attributed to none other than those o’ so delicious Girl Scout cookies (Peanut Butter Dosidos in particular).

And frankly, it’s not my fault.  Those little sugar assassins come at you from every corner of the community with guerilla like warfare.  They knock on your door, they establish distributors in shopping malls, and they somehow infiltrate every office in mainstream America – usually through someone from personnel or customer service – who serves as a Girl Scout Cookie dealer and pushes them on you like Crystal Myth in a Trailer Park.  They come in fast, strike hard, keep you doped up with favorites like Thin Mint, and then before you know it – there gone.  Just like that – nothing- making you wonder if it was just a dream or possibly a nightmare.

To make matters worse, I found myself shuffling about listlessly even more than normal this winter because UNC seemed to be struggling.  They were inconsistent on defense, rarely played a full game with intensity, Reyshawn Terry seemed to forget on a regular basis that it was against the rules to run through someone who is standing completely still, and even worse, all of our guards forgot how to feed the ball in the post – which everyone knows is the lifeblood of this team.  One game they’d look brilliant (such as victories over Wake Forest and perhaps even Boston College) and then the next they’d give up leads to Maryland or Va. Tech (which happened twice by the way).

As  Bonnie Tyler’s once sang,

“Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?”   

So true Bonnie. So true.

Each game my hopes would rise, I’d set the DVR with dreams that we could turn this season around and find our grove against teams that we should beat without much trouble only to find disappointment and frustration after losing to a lesser talent.  I emailed my friends complaining that I had NEVER…NEVER seen a UNC team have such a lack of identity this late in the season.  Seeing UNC struggle like this didn’t make any sense – kind of like seeing Tom Hanks decide to sport that pseudo mullet in the Da Vinci Code- both were really weird and made me uncomfortable.

Hours were wasted trying to figure out what was going wrong with this team.  Was it the constant rotation of players?  How about the lack of team chemistry?  Maybe they team was caught up in trying to understand why Jack from LOST decided to help out Juliet from the Others knowing full well that she betrayed him in earlier episodes.

It doesn’t matter really, the point is that we weren’t winning and it was affecting my happiness.  It was obvious to everyone that we needed a leader.  We needed someone to step up and carry this team on his back.

“I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero” 

It was a brutal week with back to back losses from Maryland and then Georgia Tech on the road, plus I was out of Girl Scout cookies.  Duke was on the horizon and in desperate need of a win.  Things didn’t look good for my beloved Heels.

And then, out of no where, he arrived…

Tyler Hansbrough rose like a Phoneix from the burning flame and single handedly put the hurt on our arch enemy from Durham with 26 points and 17 rebounds.

“I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life” 

Play after play, Tyler led the way with his hustle and determination.  And the Heels responded with resolve and purpose, something that has been missing all year.  We battled them blow for blow, and simply out played them in EVERY facet of the game.  In a word, it was GLOURIOUS.

And then, with the game all but over, the Devils struck a dirty blow by throwing an elbow across Tyler’s nose causing blood to gush all over the floor.  Mortal men would have crumbled. 

Tyler jumped back up with a look of hell fire in eyes wanting nothing more than a few seconds alone with each and every player wearing a Duke uniform.

With the blood spewing everywhere, Tyler was ushered off the floor into the locker room.  The front of his jersey was covered in bright red blood. His own blood. And instead of retreating to the care of the hospital or even the comforts of the players lounge – I mean, certainly he deserved the rest. 

Tyler responded with. “I want to go back out there. Like this.”

I think I found my hero. 

When is failure a good thing?  If you ask me, I would have to say, almost never.

But there are those many people, out there who try to find the positive in all things both good and bad.  Specifically, there are thousands of Carolina faithful trying to find “the silver lining” to UNC’s loss this past weekend to NC State…I know, it doesn’t even look right when I see it on the page!  Anyway, after a tough loss many people find it necessary to say things like, “It’s good that we lost…it’ll serve as a wake up call.” Or “A loss in this part of the season will only make them more hungry and focused.”

Really?  I couldn’t disagree more.

I remember the first time I got rejected by a girl in the 2^nd grade…sure as heck didn’t make me more focused (Damn you Jennifer Cross and your cute pigtails).

However, nothing in life is absolute and I can think of a few examples where failure actually is a good thing.

Like the time I failed to save enough money to buy one of those red and silver, zipper jackets that Michael Jackson used to wear.

Or

Like the time when my friend Jason, despite his best efforts at 3 am, tried to woo some “dentally challenged” woman back to his apartment.

But most of the time, failure is, well…absolute failure.

Like the time I failed to remember to bring swim trunks to my girlfriend’s family lake house, and was forced to wear her uncle’s 1970 original OP rainbow colored short, shorts.  (Her father said I looked like the founding member of the county gay and lesbian coalition).

Or

Like the time my friend Jonathan failed to remember his name when meeting Alison Lewis, the prettiest girl in town, for the first time and said, “Hi, my name is Alison Lewis.”

Or

Like the guy stretching in front of me in Kickboxing class at the Y, who supposedly “failed” bring his underwear.

Or

Like the time my friend Peter failed to quit drinking his new “Pete Special” (3 parts vodka, 1 part Blue Powerade) on New Year’s Eve only to be found hours later, half conscious on the beach wearing a pale yellow tuxedo and muttering something about his life long frustration with bottle rockets and Jewish women.

But maybe this time Carolina’s failure is different.  Maybe, this time they can learn from this loss and come back even stronger.  I mean, have I forgotten my swim trunks since that earlier episode?  Of course not.  Is that scary man from Kickboxing going to fail to bring his underwear again…probably.

Never the less, is it possible for a person to learn from their previous mistakes and failures?  It’s a good question. One can only hope so. My only concern now is that it doesn’t take long before UNC’s opponents have to ask themselves the same question…When is a failure a good thing?

Go Heels!

Kickboxing Class at the downtown YMCA

While I am waiting might as well take a not so obvious look around the room, see who else is part of this thing….

Hmmm,…about 35 people or so, 20 of which seem to be from the sophomore class at Meredith College…look there’s an old guy…. and some woman wearing boxing gloves and…and…ew, that woman has no business wearing spandex around her…

Oh…okay,  there’s an athletic looking, militant man looking rather pissed…he must be the….

“LET’S GO PEOPLE….HERE WE GO”

(Music blast on the stereo)

Jumping jacks?  When’s the last time I did jumping jacks.  Seriously, this is ridiculous.  Like this is going to do anything…

Huh, jumping jacks are kind of hard….

Oh Man, my feet are killing me…this can’t be good.

My shoes are too tight…I am wearing the wrong shoes….

“JOG IN PLACE…AND TWO, THREE, FOUR”

I gotta do something about these shoes.  My feet are flat out killing me.

“PUNCH TO THE RIGHT…AND KICK…AND PUNCH TO THE LEFT AND KICK”

Whoops, I almost slugged the girl in the “Powdered Milk” T-shirt, better back up. 

Ya know, now that I think about it, I really like rap music

God, there are mirrors everywhere in this place…when did I get so wide looking?….AND OLD?…

“KEEP MOVING, KEEP MOVING PEOPLE”

Christ, now my back hurts…

I bet I would look better if I had a different T-shirt on…this one makes me look kind of square…

Was that slide, slide, slide then kick or slide, slide, slide and clap?

Whoa, almost fell…hold on fella…screw the clapping and kicking thing…

“JUMP AND PUNCH ONE….JUMP AND PUNCH TWO…JUMP AND PUNCH THREE…”

Man, I really have no left hook.

Wonder why that girl in front of me looks like a carrot?

I really couldn’t look more effeminate than when I jab with my left…wonder if everyone else…..yup….they all look just as …course they’re all girls

“AND KICK…AND KICK…AND KICK”

Sweet Lord, I swear my calves are going to explode…

I wonder if Tyler Hansbrough ever did a kick boxing class, because if he did he’d probably crush that guy over the…

“PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH…AND RUN….PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH”

I bet all these college girls wonder if I am single…ya know, the good looking, older professor type…

Watch me ladies, here’s how you throw a combo-na-tion aaaand……Ooooooh…

That hurt…

That HURT!

“LET’S RUN IN PLACE”

Wonder why my forehead sweats more than the rest of my body?

Ya know, the more I think about it, I think I hate rap music…

And I hate these stupid shoes…

That guy in the corner is definitely working out some demons just look at the way he….Hey, get out of my little zone, carrot girl…

Wonder if there is a water break?…

Want to make white people look stupid, have them karate-kick a foam pillar…wow…I mean, everybody just looks so…

Oopps my turn…and…

Yup, I did not look cool doing that….ah jeez, I think I pulled something….my hamstring….I should stop…

Hey, that guy looks like Alan Arkin …if Alan Arkin ate a bunch of chicken wings or something…

“OKAY PEOPLE, KICK TO THE FRONT THEN KICK TO THE BACK”

My legs don’t go that way…good, neither do carrot girl’s…About that water break?

Wonder what would happen if someone colasped?  That would be hilari…

“AND STEP, STEP, SLIDE AND PUNCH”

There is a stack of little jerks in the hall wearing their karate outfits….what are they, seven years old…and they’re laughing…

Little bastards.

Okay, I’m kicking…I’m kicking…back off dude…

Carrot girl really couldn’t beat up a bunny…not even, a pre-injured bunny…ya, know, like it only had one leg or someth…

“WORK IT OUT PEOPLE…AND PUNCH TO THE LEFT AND KICK…”

These mirrors REALLY aren’t doing me any favors here…sweat and baldness are NOT attractive…

Neither is that guy…why the ponytail sir?

My feet are …ugh…..MAN, they are on fire…it’s like they are made of wood or something…

Don’t show the pain, almost finished….gotta show these college chicks what 35 and in shape looks like…

Oh GOD…I can’t move my right leg and my back just…just…

“OKAY PEOPLE, THAT’S IT…NICE JOB, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK”

We’re done?  Sweet.  Not too bad…now, if I could just crawl over here to the corner….and cry.